Covert narcissism can show very early in a relationship, but the clues are extremely hard to see if you have never had a relationship with one before. During the initial phase, often marked by the intense love bombing stage, it can be easy to overlook these red flags, dismissing them as normal relationship quirks that everyone has and believing that you can help your partner work through them.
However, it’s important to recognize that individuals with covert narcissistic tendencies often lack genuine empathy and are unlikely to change. Confusing these behaviors with anxious attachment or other issues can lead to significant emotional harm.
However, it’s important to recognise that individuals with covert narcissistic tendencies often lack genuine empathy and are unlikely to change.
Here are 7 red flags I saw early on our relationship but I fooled myself into believing he could change:
- 🚩 Inconsistent Relationship History: He claimed his last relationship ended 6 months ago, but it was actually only 2 months.
- 🚩 Blame and Vilification of Ex: He blamed his ex for their breakup, calling her crazy.
- 🚩 Mirroring Interests: We had the exact same taste in music, food, hobbies, values, and beliefs—it seemed too good to be true.
- 🚩 Intense Idealisation: He was incredibly perfect and loving, making me feel like I was on cloud nine.
- 🚩 Rushing the Relationship: He rushed the relationship, pushing for major commitments too quickly.
- 🚩 Boundary Violations: He ignored some of my boundaries, pushing me to do things I was really uncomfortable with.
- 🚩 Lack of Friendships: He didn’t have any real friends.
These red flags are my personal experience, you might find different ones.
Advice and Precautions
If you notice these red flags in your partner, they might be a covert narcissist. Exercise caution and pay close attention to these warning signs. Should multiple red flags align, it is crucial not to confuse these behaviors with anxious attachment styles. While they may seem similar, understanding the distinctions is vital for your emotional well-being.
For a deeper dive into recognizing covert narcissism and understanding its impact, continue reading and exploring reputable sources on the subject. Your awareness and knowledge are key to navigating and safeguarding your emotional health.
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By understanding these early signs and taking them seriously, you can better protect yourself from emotional manipulation and the harmful effects of covert narcissistic behaviour.
